D&D anyone? (:

[TellusEidolon]

Out of context DnD quotes from tumblr.

Zack: By that logic, Hitler would have a pretty sinister horse.
Daxx: Was Hitler a Ranger/Druid/Cavalier
Egan: He did have a favored enemy.
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DM rolls to identify type of wood on discovered staff
DM: could be ash or oak….
warrior (ooc) why not zoidberg!!
priest (ooc) My staff is sand-crabbing away….what do I do?
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“What’s up with that dragon, is he waiting to gain a new age category?”-Shawn
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"Are those rope burns?" ~The healer in reaction to the wizard sleeping with a succubus
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"They basically summon dinosaurs made out of tits." ~Andrew the DM explaining what Alienists are
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"Was I just tabletopped by a tea set?" ~Evan’s first experience with Animated Objects
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It’s so dark you couldn’t see yourself fart.
Rogue: (ooc) the cleric (half-elf) could see it
Monk: (ooc) that’s the worst superpower ever
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“Thock pick lock with battering ram!”
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"I whine a lot when I’m bleeding out on the ground staring down the tunnel to another plane." ~Jeff
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"I met some high-and-mighty douchebag who called himself death, but I dunno. I think he must have an inferiority complex or something like that." ~Sheehan
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DM Anne: I have one response: TPK.
Jack: TOTAL PARTY KISSES? JAYNE IS DOWN.
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Grendal (player) ooc : so what kind of lingerie is the (male) Death Knight wearing?
Me (DM) : Plate mail, the kind of thing you see in BAD KOREAN mmo’s
Shrike (player) IC: cool, we have his home address, lets go get busy.
Me (DM) : guys I am not drunk enough to roleplay this..whatever it is you think is happening…I am NEVER that drunk.

Cue 2 hours of players (a warforged + hamadryad) trying to get a gangbang going with a death knight and a minotaur. everyone else desperately just trying to do *anything* else.
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Rogue: I throw something from my bag of tricks at the hole.
DM: *rolls die* Okay… you get a rhinocerous, which falls down the hole and… *rolls die again* lands on the baby dragon hiding at the bottom and… wait, how much do rhinos weigh?
*rolls falling damage*
Yeah, it squishes the dragon.
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"Dude. You could spawn fire from your dick! who wouldnt want that??"
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Xanadu: “apparently it takes like ten minutes to remove my armor”
Syler: “what, are you putting on a show or something? Slut!”
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Warlord: So where’s the door to this cubicle?
DM: There is none, and a magic barrier prevents you from smashing it open.
Warlord: Well then I want to use my insane amount of Intimidate to stare the wall down.
Warlord: *Rolls a 20*
DM: …The wall starts sweating profusely before falling inward to reveal the room within.
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I knew a guy who overdosed on invisibility potions once. We never saw him again.
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P1 - I have low Intelligence but high Charisma.
P2 - That’s not Charisma, people just pity you.
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Player (out of character) - Is this going to be another of your fucked up campaigns with giant sentient talking fruit?
DM - OH COME ON! That was one time and I’m pretty sure I was high when I though of it.

[TellusEidolon]

Ring with a D10 dice in it.

[Adamas]

Unless the potential fiance is a D&D player as well, that die better be solid platinum.

[TellusEidolon]

It's a normal stone, and yes, they're both D&D geeks.

(The picture is a link to the deviantart page ;) )

[Azrael]

If he really loved her, he would have gotten her a die 20.

[Adamas]

how about a diamond D1000 pendant?

[TellusEidolon]

Kanye the Giant

[GothPoet]

So, we wrapped our D&D campaign up a couple weeks ago, and have been playing Cyberpunk 2020.

One of the characters is ex-military, he was in the Marine Corp as a Covert Military Direct Action Unit. (Read assassin.) Well, he's a bit trigger happy.

In their first adventure, they were looking for a missing girl, her father having hired them to do so in exchange for a certain item he had that they had come to try to purchase from him.

While looking for the girl, they went into the part of town where the gangs mostly hang out. The ex-Marine saw a guard on the roof of a building, and instead of going to look and see if the girl was in the building, he decided to assassinate the guard. That went off without a hitch, but he found the girl wasn't there. So they kept looking, though now they were on a tighter clock, as sooner or later the guard shifts would change and the dead guy would be discovered.

Luckily for them, they managed to find the girl and get her out without too much further trouble.

Well, today, while looking for another of the items on their list, they headed to a medieval town-themed theme park, and signed on to play thr part og guards for the three days they intended to be there. However, the owner of the item flatly refused to sell it to them. He did invite the two women in the group to dinner the next night, and while they were there, the ex-Marine took the Netrunner, and they headed into the castle through a secret entrance. Various rumors and the appearance of the count, not to mention subliminals being broadcast through the town had the ex-Marine and the Netrunner convinced the Count was a real vampire.

Well, the ended up in the basement of the castle, and found one of the female members of the party being held prisoner. (She was also convinced of the Count's vampirism, and told them that he intended to make her his bride.) They got her out of the cell, and were headed out and not moments later the Count found his "bride" missing. He was chasing them (along with his henchman) through the hidden hallways of the castle they had entered through. They were nearly out of the castle, with the henchman right on their heels. But, instead of keeping running, the ex-Marine took out his sword and attacked the henchman.

He did only a minor injury, but had been attacking with lethal force. Well, the police were called, and the actors who had been hired to test the "vampire scenario" the players got mistakenly caught up in mocked them mercilessly for actually believing the Count was a real vampire.

The ex-Marine was arrested and sentenced to two years of braindance, and he, for some reason, thought it would be a good idea to tell the judge to go f**k himself. That got him another year for contempt. Well, the rest of the group did some poking around, managing to find out about the subliminals and getting the sentence overturned.

[GothPoet]

So, the ex-Marine got the group a job hauling a load of PGE (plant growth enzyme) and lab equipment from Night City, CA to Nashville, TN for Biotechnica.

PetroChem tried to hijack the load twice, as the group had been warned might happen. The first time PetroChem set up a road-block, but the group managed to take another route, as they had the foresight to send their outrider vehicle up ahead.

The second time, about 2 hours out of Nashville, the sent in a couple guys in ultralight choppers, and 4 heavily armored Solos armed with Assault rifles in Jeeps, along with drivers for the Jeeps.

The ex-Marine was in the sleeper cab, and the netrunner was driving the truck (he's chipped for Operate Heavy Machinery). The ex-Marine opened the upper hatch, and was shooting at people from the partial cover of the hatch. (He was standing up in the sleeper cab, with his head/arms/torso sticking out the hatch.)

First shots, he hits both helicopter pilots in the head, and brings them down. He's having trouble getting through the armor on the Solos, and eventually has to reload. His first shot after reloading, he fumbles shooting himself in the crotch. He had some fairly heavy armor himself, and managed to just end up with one point of blunt trauma to his junk. Through sheer luck, he managed the stun save. They eventually got rid of the Solos and managed to get their delivery made.

[Dirty n Evil]

Back in September, my last attempt at a game folded, and I pitched my latest Eberron idea to my pals. Which I haven't had a good chance to indulge in, because I've been busy with my online classes. But for X-mas, my roomie got me the campaign book for Pathfinders' "Rise of the Runelords". A campaign path that takes your characters from 1st to 18th level. The general feel of things was that with so much of my free time occupied with assorted tasks all over the place, as good an idea as I was offering them, a well written out campaign that I could run from the book (with a few embelishes of my own, which are completely allowed for in the story) wouldn't be a bad idea.

The funny thing is, we haven't run 1st level characters in ages. It's unusual for us to attempt this, but it's kind of good at the same time. Now, the campaign is written for four characters, so I'm going to start things only running a lone character and later on when we might otherwise raise a level I'm going to introduce my secondary character to offset things. But it's interesting, because there's a very different mindset making a beginning character rather than one who's had a bit of experience under their belt. They're a bit more about their life and who they are than the experiences they've had that have helped shape them.

My primary character is a Magus by the name of Andrezi Crispin, who is racially a Suli (descendant of human and Jann ancestry). Andrezi is the second oldest of four to a human warrior who has moved about a bit in his life always looking for a better place to sell his services to but never finding that perfect posting. His family spent a couple of years in the campaign's starting town of Sandpoint, and has fond memories of it which is part of why he's come back. He's going to pursue the archtype of Bladebound Magus because I'm going to say that during his youth in Sandpoint while scrabbling around as a kid he found this old sword in an old half-collapsed tunnel - with Sandpoint being an old Thassilonian site, not unheard of. His father did his best to try and teach him how to use it so he didn't hurt himself, encouraged that his otherwise bookish son was showing an interest in an honest occupation like a warrior. Andrezi has kept the sword with him through the years, learning to blend his own knack of magic with the skills to defend himself passed along from father to son.

Secondary character (who's going to make an appearance in the first initial fight, but who will become otherwise occupied for the remainder of the first adventure) is a Tian Alchemist by the name of Thuy Minh. Minh is a cheerful thing with a wild mind full of hope for opportunity and invention - she's going to go about not only as a secondary healer and bomber as an Alchemist, but also carrying around one of those odd contraptions known as a "firearm". Minh is the youngest of five daughters (I was a bit inspired by "Fiddler on the Roof" with that ) who has followed her very successful restaurant owner father's idiom that opportunity only presents itself to those who take the risk to find it. So, Minh has struck out for the new boom town of Sandpoint in hopes of starting a Pathfinder lodge there. She just needs a financial backer... and some other adventurers... and maybe a job lined up for the future... perhaps a good recommendation of how to run a lodge... but other than that, she's ready! Because she's going to serve so much of a support role in combat (guns aren't terribly efficient in the game, more of an interesting feature) I don't think her later inclusion will mess the balance of the challenges too much.

My friends have picked out the general ideas for their characters, as well. They're just not as certain about the finer points as I am yet. My roomie Paul is going to run a Human Cleric of Sarenrae as his guy and a female Drow Ranger (yes, I've made the Rule 63 Drizzt joke, but he's made it clear she's going to be more of an archer oriented Ranger). My friend Zeus is planning on a Kitsune Rogue / Sorcerer and a Human Warrior... he's less certain of the latter, but still working on it.

I have noticed that in our group when there is a written out adventure, we don't deviate as greatly from the prepared story as we would when one of us writes one up. It's almost as though the old "sandbox" approach encourages us to take a sharp left turn. So, at the very least, this campaign should keep us occupied for the better part of the next six months or so.

[Don Alexander]

But it's interesting, because there's a very different mindset making a beginning character rather than one who's had a bit of experience under their belt.

I come from the opposite school of thought. All my groups have always started with beginner-level characters, who have then worked their way up... In one group, since 1994, two of the characters have reached "God" level (not literally, of course, but they are pushing the boundaries of what normal humans are capable of...)

I hope to finally play again next week, even if it is only another two-character adventure with my most trustworthy compatriot (the guy who has been a father for a few weeks now...)

[Adamas]

Agreed. I've noticed the first few adventures for a new charecter tend to be focused as much on getting the hell out of whatever situation you stuck your nose into with most of your body parts intact as actually getting whatever you need to do done. Or it might have just been my DM's who tended to place us in situations where simple door-bashing tended to get you served up in a goblin's stewpot. (Although managing to thread a magic bolt through a keyhole into a Hobgoblin's brainpan surprised all of us.)

[Dirty n Evil]

The problem is my pals (mosty Zeus)... they don't like the fragile state of low level characters. Me, I personally enjoy building a character up. He likes the feel of playing with characters who already have a bit of swagger to them who are them pitted against epic challenges that the bards will sing songs about. He's been the one struggling the most trying to come up with a character concept of someone who hasn't destroyed a necromancer and his undead hordes already. Paul, he's a bit of a power gamer. He'll work within a concept and maximize his character to be the most effective they can be with the options available to them. A pain in the neck with his warriors, but his support characters are really impressive in their role.

But I've let them all know how quickly this campaign is supposed to let the characters raise in levels. By the end of the first adventure alone, they're supposed to be 4th level. One of the nifty ideas of Pathfinder is how they allow for different advancement of the characters within the game system. They have three different "level raising rates" depending on what each group wants... and even then, they openly acknowledge that some gamers like to play it so that it's up to the DM to arbitrarily decide when the group's ready to raise up a level. Which works within this campaign, because it allows openly for side adventures to happen without effecting the major storyline. And my friends really like stories that personally are tied into the characters, so I'll be able to throw a little side mission here and there for their sakes that way.

[Swayambhu]

I play.

I'm an amateur, but you know, I play.

Made a level 7 Cleric/Ordained Champion recently. Hoping to get a decent test run out of her next Tuesday, she's got a hell of a set-up. I think the dice were in my favor when I was building her, because her stats are to die for.

[Don Alexander]

BA-DUM TISH!