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Who was the archaeologist who unearthed that joke?

Wasn't me. A friend of mine did find a visual representation of an oldie, though

(This one works better for North American English speakers.)

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a bad winter?
Because he had a great fall.

WARNING! If you are easily offended, look elsewhere. WARNING!


Why did Hitler kill himself?










He got the gas bill. >.>

If you think the Milky Way is big, just try to imagine the cow it came from.

Well, guess what? It's time for another corny joke:

Q. What is the fate of corn (maize)?
A. Ear today, pone tomorrow.

It takes a lot of balls to play a professional baseball game.

Sometimes, I really miss Davies, David Tennant and Ten.

Courtier: "Sire, sire! The peasants are revolting!"
King: "Yes, I know, Minion, they've always been disgusting."

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What's the difference between rat poison and an omelette?
If you don't know, I don't want to eat at your place.

Retiarius wrote:Who was the archaeologist who unearthed that joke?

Retiarus, It was me. Don't you dig bad jokes too? ;)

Triple post merged. The DAMNed

A cowboy walks into a German supermarket.

"Howdy Sauerkraut! Where them burgers?"

"Wurttembergers?" The cashier shakes his head. "Only Frankfurters here."

"Listen, partner. I've been eating frankfurters all week. I need me a hamburger, you understand? A big, juicy hamburger."

The cashier's face pales. He considers making a run for it, but then several burly men walk in and head for the beer aisle.

"Hamburgers -- aisle 3."

This one belongs here... Sent by my mom.


Trump & The Pope

Seeking a weekend break from his campaign rallies; Donald Trump jetted to his yacht, which was docked off the coast of  Italy .

He invited Pope Francis and the press corps on board for a Saturday afternoon cruise. It was a rather windy day.The Pope's little hat, his zucchetto, was blown from his head and into the water.

A crewman began lowering a boat to retrieve the zucchetto.Trump told the crewman not to bother.Trump climbed down the yacht's ladder; walked across the waves, picked up the zucchetto; walked back to the yacht and handed it to the Pope.

The Pope and the press corps were amazed! Donald Trump could actually walk on water!

Speculation immediately began as to how ABC, CNN, NBC, The  Washington  Post and New York Times would report this miraculous event to the rest of the world. The next morning the New York Times headline read . . . .

Weather effects in Finland and rest of the World:
+15c Spanish wear caps, gloves and winter coats, Finns are sunbathing.
+10c French desperately try to get their central heating on. Finns plant flowers.
+5c Italian cars won't start. Finns drive with convertibles.
... 0c Pure water freezes. Water in river Vantaa thickens a bit.
-5c First people are found frozen in California. Finnish midsummer festival ends.
-10c Scottish turn the heat on in their houses. Finns start to use long-sleeve shirts.
-20c Swedes stay indoors. Finns are having last barbecue before winter.
-30c Half of the Greek people have frozen to death. Finns start to dry their laundry indoors.
-40c Fake Santas are moving to south. Finnish army cancels winter training due to warm weather.
-50c Danish people are losing their teeth. Finns rent movies and stay indoors.
-60c Polar bears evacuate North Pole. Finnish army starts its winter training.
-70c Siberian people are moving to Moscow. Finns are furious since the Koskenkorva can't be stored outdoors anymore.
-273c Absolute Zero. Finns admit that it is quite cold outside.
-300c Hell freezes over. Finland wins soccer World Cup.

Tourist at Thanksgiving Day parade: "Wow! These floats are amazing! Look how big the head is on that one of Donald Trump!"
New Yorker: "That's not a float."

Donald Trump is a legend in his own mind.
;)