Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Moderators: Don Alexander, midgetshrimp
- aishabe
- Posts: 249
- Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 3:15 am
- Location: New York
Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
I know you people have some.
Hand 'em over.
But please, try to go light on the dead babies.
Hand 'em over.
But please, try to go light on the dead babies.
Lady High Vice Mistress, Mistress of Vices
- Don Alexander
- Dr. Ebil SithMod
- Posts: 28238
- Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:26 am
- Location: Under the arms of the ancient oak, where daylight hangs by a lunar noose...
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
First answer!!!!aishabe wrote:I know you people have some.
Hand 'em over.
But please, try to go light on the dead babies.
Bend over, fairy, wish is wish!!!!
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's , in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
Moderations in GREEN and signed by the DAMNed. I am not anonymous! Also, MODSMACK!!
Winner of the... 2010 Kilopost FRANKIE; 2010 Mad March Nom Off; 2010 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2010 Fan-Thing Contest; 2010 Mimic Contest (tied); 2011 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2011 Contest-for-the-next-Contest (tied)
- Bear
- BANNED
- Posts: 7649
- Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:20 pm
- Location: England
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
No unclean, offensive, racist, or otherwise derogatory jokes that will upset or offend, or I WILL be banning people.
- Don Alexander
- Dr. Ebil SithMod
- Posts: 28238
- Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:26 am
- Location: Under the arms of the ancient oak, where daylight hangs by a lunar noose...
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
The fun has already gone out of this thread...
Because no one will know where the borders are, so they'll rather not post anything...
Okay, this one will probably not get me banned. ;)
Did you know that elephants are absolute experts at hiding in trees?? I mean, have you ever seen an elephant in a tree??
Because no one will know where the borders are, so they'll rather not post anything...
Okay, this one will probably not get me banned. ;)
Did you know that elephants are absolute experts at hiding in trees?? I mean, have you ever seen an elephant in a tree??
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's , in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
Moderations in GREEN and signed by the DAMNed. I am not anonymous! Also, MODSMACK!!
Winner of the... 2010 Kilopost FRANKIE; 2010 Mad March Nom Off; 2010 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2010 Fan-Thing Contest; 2010 Mimic Contest (tied); 2011 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2011 Contest-for-the-next-Contest (tied)
- cyanide_sweet
- Ebil Sithlady
- Posts: 2074
- Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 3:36 am
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Hehe. Another tree joke:
What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you when it falls out of a tree?
A pool table.
What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you when it falls out of a tree?
A pool table.
- Asaryu
- Tentacoo Goddess
- Posts: 6602
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:06 am
- Location: Sydney
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Did you hear about the blond who shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.
Badum *highhat*
She missed.
Badum *highhat*
Tentacoo-Goddess of the Bubblibaff, Gazer of the Southern Heavens and Mistress of Morals. She/Them. Judging you.
- Don Alexander
- Dr. Ebil SithMod
- Posts: 28238
- Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:26 am
- Location: Under the arms of the ancient oak, where daylight hangs by a lunar noose...
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's , in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
Moderations in GREEN and signed by the DAMNed. I am not anonymous! Also, MODSMACK!!
Winner of the... 2010 Kilopost FRANKIE; 2010 Mad March Nom Off; 2010 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2010 Fan-Thing Contest; 2010 Mimic Contest (tied); 2011 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2011 Contest-for-the-next-Contest (tied)
- cyanide_sweet
- Ebil Sithlady
- Posts: 2074
- Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 3:36 am
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Just to be sure, I'll censor this one:
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b****** who want off, get the h*** off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b****** who are getting on, get your a** in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are p***** off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b**** in the kitchen."
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of b****** who want off, get the h*** off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b****** who are getting on, get your a** in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."
As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are p***** off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the b**** in the kitchen."
- Dirty n Evil
- Deceptively Evil
- Posts: 5914
- Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 2:14 am
- Location: Salem, Oregon, United States of America
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
My favorite bad jokes?
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum-cha!
Two atoms are talking, and one of them is all worried. The first atom asks, "What's wrong?" The second atom responds, "I think I'm missing an electron." The first atom askes back, "Are you sure?" The second atom retorts, "Yes, I'm positive!"
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum-cha!
Two atoms are talking, and one of them is all worried. The first atom asks, "What's wrong?" The second atom responds, "I think I'm missing an electron." The first atom askes back, "Are you sure?" The second atom retorts, "Yes, I'm positive!"
Tied 1st Place of "What Would You Do To Win A Ma3 Contest" Contest (Aug '09) / Winner of Cutest Forumite Contest (Male Division) (Sept '09)
Winner of FRANKIES Awards Contest (Feb '10) Winner in Noms & Exemplary Divisions / Winner of 'The Contest For the Next Contest' Contest (Jul '10)
Winner of Wet T-Shirt Guys Division (Jul '10) / Winner of Lonely Hearts Contest (Feb '11)
Winner of FRANKIES Awards Contest (Feb '10) Winner in Noms & Exemplary Divisions / Winner of 'The Contest For the Next Contest' Contest (Jul '10)
Winner of Wet T-Shirt Guys Division (Jul '10) / Winner of Lonely Hearts Contest (Feb '11)
- midgetshrimp
- Modly Pirate Jesus
- Posts: 5076
- Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:32 am
- Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the other muffin and says, "Boy, is it hot in here." The second muffin replies, "Ah! A talking muffin!"
Exuberant High Captain Mod-siah of the Elder Council, Grand Official Bard.
Who needs sex when you have Menage a 3?
Who needs sex when you have Menage a 3?
- aishabe
- Posts: 249
- Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 3:15 am
- Location: New York
Re: Bad Jokes, A-Hyuk.
Hey, that's a variation on MY favorite joke, which certainly isn't bad.Dirty n Evil wrote:My favorite bad jokes?
Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Ba-dum-cha!
Two atoms are talking, and one of them is all worried. The first atom asks, "What's wrong?" The second atom responds, "I think I'm missing an electron." The first atom askes back, "Are you sure?" The second atom retorts, "Yes, I'm positive!"
Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. Atom number one says, "I think I lost an electron." Atom number two responds, "Are you sure?" Atom number one then said "Yes, I'm positive!"
Lady High Vice Mistress, Mistress of Vices
- cyanide_sweet
- Ebil Sithlady
- Posts: 2074
- Joined: Wed Nov 26, 2008 3:36 am
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
That's terrible, but I love it!midgetshrimp wrote:Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the other muffin and says, "Boy, is it hot in here." The second muffin replies, "Ah! A talking muffin!"
What wobbles as it flies?
A jelly-copter
- Don Alexander
- Dr. Ebil SithMod
- Posts: 28238
- Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:26 am
- Location: Under the arms of the ancient oak, where daylight hangs by a lunar noose...
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Two sheep are sitting in a basement, sawing gasoline.
Along comes a screwdriver. It walks up one wall, along the ceiling, down the other wall, and leaves through the opposite door.
One sheep looks over to the other one: "Did you just see that?"
The other sheep replies: "Yeah, that dude never says hi."
Along comes a screwdriver. It walks up one wall, along the ceiling, down the other wall, and leaves through the opposite door.
One sheep looks over to the other one: "Did you just see that?"
The other sheep replies: "Yeah, that dude never says hi."
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's , in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
Moderations in GREEN and signed by the DAMNed. I am not anonymous! Also, MODSMACK!!
Winner of the... 2010 Kilopost FRANKIE; 2010 Mad March Nom Off; 2010 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2010 Fan-Thing Contest; 2010 Mimic Contest (tied); 2011 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2011 Contest-for-the-next-Contest (tied)
- aishabe
- Posts: 249
- Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 3:15 am
- Location: New York
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Don Alexander wrote:Two sheep are sitting in a basement, sawing gasoline.
Along comes a screwdriver. It walks up one wall, along the ceiling, down the other wall, and leaves through the opposite door.
One sheep looks over to the other one: "Did you just see that?"
The other sheep replies: "Yeah, that dude never says hi."
That is the best joke ever.
Lady High Vice Mistress, Mistress of Vices
- Dirty n Evil
- Deceptively Evil
- Posts: 5914
- Joined: Fri May 23, 2008 2:14 am
- Location: Salem, Oregon, United States of America
Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Longer joke.
Mike is a big guy, and he comes into the local bar he frequents but he's all busted up. The bartender looks up and sees the horrible shape he's in, and asks "Mike? What the hell happened to you?"
Mike responds, "I got into a scrape with Danny Schultz."
The bartender is confused by this. "Danny Schultz? He's a little guy, barely half your size. What did he have in hand?"
"Danny had a big old tire iron, and he used it plenty, let me tell you." Mike responds as he settles down for a drink.
"Well, didn't you have anything in hand?"
With a slow grin, Mike nods. "That I did - Danny's wife Brenda's left breast. And while a wonderful thing it is, it was completely useless in a fight."
Mike is a big guy, and he comes into the local bar he frequents but he's all busted up. The bartender looks up and sees the horrible shape he's in, and asks "Mike? What the hell happened to you?"
Mike responds, "I got into a scrape with Danny Schultz."
The bartender is confused by this. "Danny Schultz? He's a little guy, barely half your size. What did he have in hand?"
"Danny had a big old tire iron, and he used it plenty, let me tell you." Mike responds as he settles down for a drink.
"Well, didn't you have anything in hand?"
With a slow grin, Mike nods. "That I did - Danny's wife Brenda's left breast. And while a wonderful thing it is, it was completely useless in a fight."
Tied 1st Place of "What Would You Do To Win A Ma3 Contest" Contest (Aug '09) / Winner of Cutest Forumite Contest (Male Division) (Sept '09)
Winner of FRANKIES Awards Contest (Feb '10) Winner in Noms & Exemplary Divisions / Winner of 'The Contest For the Next Contest' Contest (Jul '10)
Winner of Wet T-Shirt Guys Division (Jul '10) / Winner of Lonely Hearts Contest (Feb '11)
Winner of FRANKIES Awards Contest (Feb '10) Winner in Noms & Exemplary Divisions / Winner of 'The Contest For the Next Contest' Contest (Jul '10)
Winner of Wet T-Shirt Guys Division (Jul '10) / Winner of Lonely Hearts Contest (Feb '11)