Corrupt-a-Wish

[Asaryu]

Granted, but you're not sure what you want and lack the immense willpower required for universal matter-control and it all end up in tears.

I wish I had been paid today.

[Dirty n Evil]

I wish I had been paid today.

Granted! Only, there had been a new government measure that kicked in for this paycheck. The resultant extra taxes actually meant that you owed money.

I wish I could call out for work tomorrow without getting into any trouble for it.

[Don Alexander]

I wish I could call out for work tomorrow without getting into any trouble for it.

Granted. You do, and don't get into any trouble because your phoe call makes the store asplode. You are out of a job. Welcome to the streets, man, here's your hockey stick.

I wish someone else would peel the potatos for the potato pancakes today.

[Asaryu]

Granted...you have to peel no potatoes all day, but pancakes are awarded only to those who have peeled potatoes. Your tummy rumbles and you are sad.

I wish blown kisses were real.

[Don Alexander]

I wish blown kisses were real.

Granted. But they come so fast and furious, it feels like you are being bitch-slapped all the time.

*blows Asaryu a kiss*

I wish... I wish... I'm not good at this I always immediately come up with a corruption, but then I'm lacking the new wish...

Okay...

I wish that next year, more girls from our class come to the reunion.

[Asaryu]

Granted: All the girls from your class turn up next year, but they have all changed into raging bull-dykes. None of them are attractive, and most of them have shaved heads. You spend the night cringing.

I wish I never had another headache.

[Don Alexander]

I wish I never had another headache.

Granted. Decapitation.

I wish I were slim and attractive and exuded an irresistible phermone that only attracts girls.

[Asaryu]

Granted...your lung collapses (apparently tall, thin boys are susceptible to it) during sex and none of the ditsy blond bimbos in the room know what to do to fix you. You die... but with many naked women around you.

I wish...I wish my family would all get along on Christmas.

[Don Alexander]

Granted...your lung collapses (apparently tall, thin boys are susceptible to it) during sex and none of the ditsy blond bimbos in the room know what to do to fix you. You die... but with many naked women around you.

Seeing that's actually a major improvement on how I will probably die, I'll go for it.

I wish...I wish my family would all get along on Christmas.

Granted. A psychopath gets into the house and commences sticking blades into all of you. Then he lays you out with folded hands in the living room. You are now getting along well with each other.

I wish my friends had more time for me after I've made the effort of coming here for Christmas.

[Lilianna]

Granted. But they still make excuses and don't spend time with you. They just have more of it.

I wish my boyfriend was on messenger.

[Don Alexander]

I wish my boyfriend was on messenger.

Granted. But he never chats with you, because he is spending all his time cheating on you.

I wish my mom... would realize I'm a better person than she thinks... (Upcoming post in the confession thread...)

[cyanide_sweet]

Granted. She realizes that you are a better person than her, and proceeds to spend all her time complaining about how you are TOO nice.

I wish that everyone will get along for Christmas dinner

[Don Alexander]

I wish that everyone will get along for Christmas dinner

Granted. Dinner takes place in icy silence. But at least you are getting along.

I wish beary-mod were online to give me my title. My Sithling already has hers ;)

[Lilianna]

Granted. But he completely french fries it up and you get stuck with a pink name and "I'm a Barbie Girl" for a title.

I wish my grandparents didn't have to come over tonight.

[Don Alexander]

I wish my grandparents didn't have to come over tonight.

Granted. They die in an accident on the way, ruining everyone's Christmas.

I wish that that actually does not come true.