Bards Corner.

[Pneumonica]

I think with the title 'Ode to Poo', some people may get the wrong idea.

Hey, at least he hasn't written an "Ode to a Pulmonary Disorder". :shock:

[Bear]

Hey, he still might yet.

[midgetshrimp]

Be happy I'm not dyslexic. Or in stead of Ode to PD it would be Ode to DP.

[Don Alexander]

Well, here's another bit of poetry. Today is bonus day, you will get 4 for 1 to tide you over the weekend. The first one was composed in honor of my best friend's wedding and the title can also be read as "For Heiko's one love". On the other hand, it was also always envisioned as a 4 x 4 tetralogy. The first haiku written was the first one of "Futility", inspired, well, by a big moth fluttering, seemingly without meaning, around a street light.

Enjoy.

4 Haikus (1) - Love

At the fall of night
Within the heart of the glade
Love's flower blossomed

Of cornflower eyes
Were the dreams that kept awake
deep into the night

When darkness complete
Saw warriors breaching the gates
Peace reached was complete

The first song of dawn
Cast soft rays of playful light
On the glistening dew

(C) REDMAN 28. 11. 2002

4 Haikus (2) - Futility

Lies in the frantic
Fluttering of the Ghost Moth
But futility

For changes have spread
Across the plains of morning
Where the barley sighs

And the monsoon rains
Are as the tears of the gods
Mourning chances lost

With the flow of time
And the passage of the moon
Dead moths fly no more

(C) REDMAN 21. 5. 2002 - 26. 11. 2002

4 Haikus (3) - Tragedy

At war with the self
To be at loss with the loss
Is the tragedy

Alone now again
Stale air in a breath once fresh
Stands still in the rain

At one with the pain
The only friend that remains
Gives a soft caress

Give birth to the soul
Cased in a logic-proof shell
Of a new machine

(C) REDMAN 28. 11. 2002

4 Haikus (4) - Death

Life begins from birth
And from then on progresses
Further on towards death

Dessicated tears
Have now run dry and cleared the
Mind for further thoughts

Striving for release
From warriors rushing the gates
Like armies of pain

At the fall of night
Within the heart of the glade
Flower petals fall

(C) REDMAN 28. 11. 2002

[Don Alexander]

Be happy I'm not dyslexic. Or in stead of Ode to PD it would be Ode to DP.

DP?

My first thought was Dust Puppy! :mrgreen:

[Asaryu]

Be happy I'm not dyslexic. Or in stead of Ode to PD it would be Ode to DP.

DP?

My first thought was Dust Puppy! :mrgreen:

Double Penetration?

[Don Alexander]

Double Penetration?

That... might be it. Though I guess that piece of verse would fit more into Nathan's sexy Ma3 thread. :twisted:

[Dirty n Evil]

While I consider myself a writer (it's my soul, it's who I am, it's what I consider my most defining feature as an individual)... I have been so utterly stressed out the last couple of years I've only managed one pretty underwhelming short story.

Not that I think the length of the stories I used to write would work with this board. Far, far too long. I'm very "novel-oriented". But even when I was 48 pages invested into a story (rough draft, and my final drafts were always doubled in length from experience)... I couldn't write when stressed out. Between being abandoned by a legally insane wife (my Zelda?), moving from Philadelphia to Tampa, being so broke I can't afford a car... and suffering from terminal singleness, yeah. The inkwell of creativity needs a refill.

[Asaryu]

Double Penetration?

That... might be it. Though I guess that piece of verse would fit more into Nathan's sexy Ma3 thread. :twisted:

Depends on what you're being penetrated with...

Also, it has been requested that I post my own creative writing on the forum, and the only thing I can find record of is a chat with a friend of mine who demanded a story.

I apologise for the length (typos and reactions included for the sake of authenticity)

kat:
tell me a story
21:38 me: hmmm
Once upon a time
there was a wolf
(I'm making this up as I go along)
21:41 And he was a very proud and vain wolf
he would preen his fur and constantly gaze at himself in the water
now, his vanity was not his main fault
the wolf was also a bully
21:44 kat: oooh
me: he would harras other animals and make fun of them
all the animlas except one
21:45 wolf was terrified of rabbit
kat: :O
21:46 me: rabbit was beautiful
he had soft, clean fur
and his tail was the envy of all the other animals
21:47 and his little nose-wiggle was oh-so-cute
and he was friendly and charming
and always remembered birthdays
21:48 kat:
me: and came to the other animals houses with their favourite foods
21:49 and (most imporatantly) a smile
21:50 kat:
me: he would stay for a while, but never too long, and when he left, he would wiggle his nose, and witha flash of his very handsome tail he would be off
21:52 now wolf, as all vain creatures are, was very insecure
and very very jealous of rabbit
21:53 wolf was jealous that rabbit had so many friends
and wolf was jealous that rabbit had such beautiful, clean fur
but wolf was especially jealous of rabbits tail
21:54 and he would brush his tail every day
21:55 and he would use oils and lotions to keep his fur soft
and he would trim it regularly and keep it neat and tidy
but his tail was simply not as nice
21:57 and he knew it
21:58 and because he was insecure
and because he was a bully
wolf would tease the other animals
and wolf would make them say that his was the most handsome tail of all the animals
21:59 and when they said it, he would gloat
but deep down, he always knew they were lying
22:00 but it was not rabbits tail that wolf was afraid of
oh no
wolf was afraid of rabbits tongue
22:01 see rabbit wasn't just beautiful
rabbit was also very clever
22:02 and rabbit knew that wolf was jealous
so when wolf would try to tease rabbit, rabbit would simply laugh
and as he bound away, under a thorn-bush, he would say that his was the handsomest tail in all the land
22:03 kat:
grins
me: and as he dissapeared under the bush, he would waggle his tail, just to annoy wolf
22:04 and all the other animals nearby would laugh at wolf
One day, though
wolf had been having a bad day
22:05 he had stubbed his paw, and he had hit his head
22:06 and he had tried and tried, but he could not get his tail to look nice
and because he had spent so long trying to get his tail to look nice, wolf had missed his breakfast
22:07 so when he met with the other animals, wolf was sore and tired and very, very grouchy
22:08 Rabbit, on the other hand, had been doing what rabbits are famous for, and was in a very cheerful disposition, with a kind and cheerful word for everyone
including wolf
22:09 on this morning of all mornings, this was too much for wolf
22:10 so when rabbit said that wolfs tail looked quite fine today, wolf thought rabbit was making fun
kat: awww:(
22:11 me: and, as usual, rabbit bounded off with a tail-waggle before wolf could do anything about it
and all the other animals laughed.
now wolf had missed his breakfast
and his hungry, carnivore stomach was just as grouchy as he was
22:12 so he snapped at the nearest animal who was laughing (it was rat) and gobbled him up
kat: :O
me: Now rabbit felt this was quite unfair
22:13 and was surely going to miss his dear friend rat
(until rat came back, as all the animals tend to do in these types of stories)
but most of all, rabbit was angry at wolf
22:14 all the time that wolf had been bullying the animals, he had never eaten one before
and rabbit felt guilty as well
22:15 that his dar friend rat should be eaten for laughing at a little joke that rabbit would play to tease wolf
so rabbit decided to go to mrs rat
and her liittle brood of ratlings
and to tell her the bad news
and to see what she wanted done about it
22:16 so he gathered up some apples, and some sunflower seeds, and some eggs and some cheese, and some herbs and some biscuits and went to mrs rat to tell her the bad news
22:17 Mrs rat was very angry
but knew that wolf, being bigger and having sharper teeth, was not going to do anything to console her
22:18 but rabbit said the he would find a way to make wolf pay
Now, I shall let it be known now, that wolf did have one friend
22:19 the kind, old badger was wolfs one friend
and because badger was so kind, he thought that everyone was kind (including wolf)
22:20 and because he was old, he did not get to see wolf being a bully to the other animals
but wolf would visit old, kind badger and bring him nice things, and badger would talk to wolf and comment on how nice his fur looked today
22:21 and they got along quite well
old, kind badger got a little knock on his door
22:22 and rabbit came in and brought in mrs rat, and the little brood of ratlings
and said to badger "wolf has eaten rat, and left mrs rat without a husband, and the brood of ratlings without a father"
22:23 and badger was horrified
22:24 but badger did not know what he could do about it
but then, there was another knock at the door, and wolf came in
22:25 and badger said "did you eat rat, and leave mrs rat with no husband, and her little ratlings with no father to look after them?"
and wolf, knowing that badger already knew, said yes
22:26 and badger asked wolf "so what are you going to do for poor rats family now that you have deprived them of thier gatherer of food, and with a winter coming on. They will surely starve
"
22:29 and rabbit piped up and said "i happen to know that rat was planning a special surprise for all his family"
22:31 "perhaps wolf, by way of compensation, should provide the ratties with food for the cold seasons, until rat comes back, and the means for the wonderful surprise that rat was planning"
Badger thought this was an excellent idea
and so did the ratties
so badger asked rabbit: "what is this surprise that rat was planning?"
22:32 and rabbit said that rat was gathering the softest fur of all the animals to make winter jumpers for all his family.
22:33 kat: oooh
me: and badger said "but they shouldn't have to give up their fur a second time, just because of wolf!"
and rabbit looked at wolf, then back at badger
22:35 and said "I think that wolfs tail is the softest and the handsomest fur. Perhaps if wolf was willing to give up the fur on his tail?"
22:36 and badger looked at wolf sternly, and before wolf had a chance to object, badger said "that is fair. after all, it is your vanity about your tail that made you eat rat, and it is soft fur that would be perfect for making little rattie jumpers"
22:37 so wolf, forced by the might of all the animals and his affection and respect for badger, cut all the fur from his tail
kat:
me: all the animals helped turn wolfs tail into little rattie jumpers
22:38 but when all the fur had been used, there was still one little rattie who did not have a jumper
and he sat, shivering, on the end of the line
22:39 and rabbit said "since there is none of wolfs soft tail fur left for the little rats jumper, and it was I who provoked wolf into biting at rat, the last jumper will be made of my tail fur"
22:40 so rabbit gave the fur from his tail to mrs rat, who had a jumper made up for the last little rattie in no time
22:41 and while wolf learned humility, having to gather rat food for the winter with only a scraggly, stubbly tail to show for it
22:42 kat:
me: and rabbit never teased wolf about his tail again
kat: you rock girl
grins
me: and the ratties were warm and fed for all the winters until rat came back
22:43 (and no-one ever knew that rabbit lied about rat making jumpers)
(and they would have been okay with it if they had, anyway)
22:45 kat:
thabnkyou so much
that was very well ad libbed
me: thank you
bows
22:49 glad yo u liked it

[Don Alexander]

While I consider myself a writer (it's my soul, it's who I am, it's what I consider my most defining feature as an individual)... I have been so utterly stressed out the last couple of years I've only managed one pretty underwhelming short story.

I know the feeling...

I started an SF novel back in 1999, which got to about 150 pages, but I have not found the time anymore... Even my role-playing texts are suffering. Today, I want to make some progress there.

Now for Asaryu's chat...

[Don Alexander]

Also, it has been requested that I post my own creative writing on the forum, and the only thing I can find record of is a chat with a friend of mine who demanded a story.

[...]Story of the vain wolf and the friendly rabbit and all the other animlulz.

ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh

A wonderful fairy tail.

I hope you want kids someday, Asaryu, bacause you have just established yourself as a grade-A mom!! ;)

I'm glad I did not come up with that story. In mine, Wolf would have eaten Mrs. Rat and the brood of Ratlings too, and that's the end of my story. :twisted:

Okay, midgetshrimp, this all demands an ode worthy of the Exuberant Captain Messiah!

[midgetshrimp]

Ode to the Bonds

Her wisdom undoubted
Raught by the mighty hand
Of experience aplenty.

A motherly veil
Discovered within the heart
For those who may know not.

Bound to her lovers
The marks of their passing
Soft scars without pain.

Her heart holds no fury
Few fears and little doubt
For the hand has taught.

Though her strike true
No pain to feel but
Joyful ecstasy.

Hard hand of a feather
Feels not but of pleasure
And why we understand.

Though we she did bind
In body and mind
Such mother's hands never bring sorrow.

[Don Alexander]

Ode to the Bonds

*claps*

midgetshrimp, you are $Deity's gift to womankind!! :mrgreen:

I hope she likes it! I sure did.

[Bear]

I also decree that Midgetshrimp be also awarded the title of Grand Official Bard... until someone better comes along.

And now, my favourite server error message ever:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed, weak and weary,
Over many a strange and spurious website of 'hot chicks galore',
While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark,
suddenly there came a warning,
And my heart was filled with mourning,
mourning for my dear amour.
"'Tis not possible," I muttered, "Give me back my cheap hardcore!"

Quoth the server, "404"

[midgetshrimp]

Quoth the server, "404"

404'd!!!